As you may be aware, if you look over there ———–> I have ridiculous arguments with me and *insert name here*. Well, I think I may change it to “Ridiculous arguments with Sara and Lily” I mean really. I think this child is going to kill me. From the moment I wake up to the moment she goes to sleep, she wants to argue with me. For instance… I’ll tell you about an argument we just had. We’ve been in the car getting dinner, I have to quickly go home so Lauren can brush her teeth and we’re taking our neighbor girls who also play in the school band. It’s the last basketball game of the season. From here on out, it’s going to be smooth sailing! yay!!
So I’m letting Lily have my iPad while we’re waiting for everyone to be ready so I can take them to the school. She has turned the volume up on it LOUD. Like, as loud as it can.
Lauren: Mom, I’m going to go into the Gifford’s house and wait while the girls get ready for the game.
Me: OK, I’m going to go over and wait for Kathryn while she gets into her dress for mutual tonight.
Lily: Can I watch netflix?
Me: No, we’re not on wifi.
Me: No, we’re not on wifi. It’s only at home or where we’re somewhere when we can tap into wifi can you watch movies. We’ll use too much data and then it will cost mama more.
Lily: *pouting* Oooooooooooooooooookaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Mean while, Lauren and Neighbor girl 1 & 2 (now shall be known as NG1 & NG2) get into the car.
Me: NG1, can your mom take Kathryn to mutual for me tonight? I’ll have Benjamin bring you three home.
NG1: Sure! (almost yelling) Can I use someone’s phone? Mine is dead!
Me: Yes, you can use mine. Lily, we need to turn the iPad volume down.
At this point, I take the iPad from her because she won’t turn the volume down. Yes, she knows how to turn it up and down. I then give it back to her.
NG1: Mom, can you take Kathryn to mutual
Lily: I WANT THE VOLUME TURNED BACK UP!!
Me: Shush, so NG1 can talk to her mother.
Lily: TURN THE VOLUME BACK UP!
NG1: Oh, you can? Thanks mom. Yes, my mother can take Kathryn to mutual.
Lily: TURN THE VOLUME BACK UP AGAIN!
Me: No, we can’t hear each other talk over your iPad game. It’s too loud.
Lily: I DON’T CARE IF IT’S TOO LOUD! I WANT IT BACK UP AGAIN!
Me: So NG1, how are you …
Lily: I WANT THE VOLUME TURNED UP
Me: doing today?
NG1: Oh, I’m going great.
Lily: TURN THE VOLUME UP!
Me: Lily, I’ll turn the volume back up after we drop everyone off at the high school. NG2, how are you doing today?
Lily: NO, I DON’T WANNA WAIT! I WANT IT TURNED UP NOW!
NG2: Oh, I’m doing great.
Now Lauren and NG1 & NG2 are talking about school and people and Lily is still hanging onto the whole volume thing. I think I’m ready to bang my head up against the steering wheel. We FINALLY get to the high school. I drop the girls off. I take the iPad and put the volume up again. Then… I turn the volume up on my stereo.
Lily: TURN IT DOWN!!
Me: Lily, I just turned it up!! Make up your mind!
Lily: Noooooooooooooo, turn down YOUR radio!! I can’t hear my game!
*banging head against steering wheel*
Me: Mom, do you know of ANYONE who has ever constantly argued with their toddler? AND the toddler hangs in there, doesn’t shut up, thinks that they’re in the RIGHT and argues with you like they’re a teenager????
Mom: Yes, I have a child like that.
Me: You do?? Who!!!
Mom: He lives in Monroe. He still argues with everything I say or do.
Mom: Oh, you’re in so much trouble. I feel sorry for you in her teenage years.
Me: Thanks mom.
So I guess this isn’t a phase… insert crying in…