I know, I know, not a date! However, just for those
few none, I thought I’d put up the date anyway.
January 28, 2012
You know on a blog, I try and not air dirty laundry. Not that adoption is, or what I’m about to say is dirty laundry, but what I really mean is I don’t like to post the down side of my life. It’s personal. And my blog is open and free! In fact, soon, I’ll be buying a domain name. *gulp* and sometimes I read on someones blog and think, did you really just say that? Did I really need to know that? Well, for us to go to the adoption area, yes, I’m going to really say that. Do you really need to know? Maybe. If you know someone who is considering placing their child up for adoption.
Growing up, cabbage patch kids were the RAGE. I mean seriously. To get my first doll, my mother braved the crowds in the store. The other pushy mothers. Hmmm, now I’m not surprised that my mother got me one. If you know her. Thanks mom! I love you! You’re the best! So back to my thing in the 80’s. I loved those dolls. In fact, as my “children” grew, the happier I was. I got up to 13 dolls. AND, I’m PROUD to say that I knew all their names, both first and middle, and I knew their birth dates. I sent in all my adoption papers and I got birth certificates back. I was one proud mama. Then, as I’m spoken in the past about this, I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was 13. I remember one of the first major things told tome was: You’ll never be able to have children. WHAT?? Are you kidding me?? And I thought, they don’t know me. They don’t know what I’m capable of. In the next few years I was diagnosed with a couple more diseases. I still had my attitude. I WAS going to have children.
When I was 19, I thought I had met the love of my life. I even married him. We were married in May of 1996 and by February of 1997, I knew it was a mistake. Never the less, I was a good Mormon girl. I had made my bed, I would sleep in it. I thought I did very good. I lasted in that marriage until 2001 and divorced in 2002. And you know what? I did have children. Lauren was born in June of 1997 and Kathryn joined our family shortly thereafter in February of 1999. Both were hard pregnancies, but I had a doctor who was a good Christian woman who understood my need for wanting children. She said to me, “You can have as many children as you like. I’ll support you in this decision.” I ended up with preeclampsia with both girls. Which resulted in them being born early. Lauren was at 35 weeks and Kathryn at 34 weeks. Lauren was in the NICU for 9 days and Kathryn was in the NICU for 2 weeks. I remember after taking them home that it was the longest! Ever! to be there. ha! How little did I know that later on, I’d be grateful for 9 days and 2 weeks. Either way, when I divorced, I had no intention of ever getting remarried. Ever. Again. And lets just say we’ll leave it at that.
I never thought I’d have children again. However, much to my surprise, I found a wonderful man and we got married in October of 2005. I knew we wanted children. More children and we were going to wait, but Heavenly Father had other plans. I got pregnant in March of 2006 with a due date of December 17, 2006. What we didn’t know was that when I was around 23 weeks pregnant, she suffered a stroke. She was born on October 21, 2006 one week exactly before we celebrated our first anniversary of being married. She was terminally ill and would die. She was just here for a body. I really had a hard time dealing with it. It was so hard for me to carry children. I didn’t get preeclampsia this time around, I had an abruption. We think it was also this abruption that I think started around the time I was about 17 weeks along that caused her to have a stroke. Because of this abruption, after she was born she ended up having 9 blood transfusions and multiple platelet transfusions. Either way, she passed away when she was 10 weeks and 5 days old. My doctors cautioned me to wait for a year not only for my body to heal but my emotional and spiritual well being.
We found out in December of 2007 that I was pregnant with Lily and her due date was August 30, 2008. She was born at 29 weeks on June 14, 2008. We were really scared. However, we learned that this time around that I was the one bleeding out instead of Lily. The doctors wanted me to have a blood transfusion while I was still pregnant with her. I refused. I wanted to make sure that Lily was born with every possibility of surviving and with our odds, I’d get blood that had HIV or something that accidentally slipped past. So within 24 hours of her being born, I had 2 blood transfusions. I was told that before I got pregnant with Lily that my chances of having another abruption would be unlikely and only a 20% chance of it reoccurring. Well, I did have another abruption and could have died. The doctors told me that I needed to be done. I knew I needed to be done, but I felt that our family was still incomplete. Benjamin was fine with just having Lily. For a long time, I’ve felt that our family was still waiting for another little person.
Fast forward to about a month ago. Lily was singing in the car on the way home. She kept singing that she wanted a little brother. She then switched to just wanting to be a big sister. So I called Benjamin and for the first time, he didn’t immediately say no. We ended up having quite the discussion and he agreed that it felt like we still have another one coming.
I can’t have children any longer. My body has given out. So, this is where it comes in about adopting. We want to adopt a child. We’re hoping for a child younger than Lily, and a boy, but that doesn’t make or break the bank. I’m putting it out there so if anyone knows of someone who is looking to possibly place their child with another family through adoption, to please consider us. We have the room, the money to support the child, excellent health care and an abundance to love a new person.