I can’t imagine what she’d look like. I can imagine taking her to preschool. Picking her up from preschool. Loving on her sister and them having intense “debates” since they both have such a strong personality. Would Lily be as selfish of her daddy if she had another “little” person to have to share him with? Probably not. :) I can imagine taking her to primary and participating in the Primary Program on Sunday. I wonder what she would have said. I wonder what would be on her Christmas list this year. Who would she want to sit by in the car? Where would her booster seat be? Would we have bunk beds in Lily’s room? Or would we just have the double bed that they’d sleep in right next to each other? What dress would I pick out for Christmas so they could match? Would her hair be as curly as what it was when she died? Would it be as red or would it have turned more brown? Would she be excited to have the New Year’s Eve Elf come to our house? Would she claim that Lexi is her dog as Lily does? Would she want to help me with everything and drive me nuts?
Some of these things, I’ll never know. Actually, most of these things I’ll never know and wonder about for the rest of my life here on earth.
I ran across this article. It has one paragraph that I’m going to copy and paste into here. It totally sums up everything I felt at the time of her oh so short life.
“I would walk through a tunnel of fire if it would save my
son daughter. I would take my chances on a stripped battlefield with a sling and a rock à la David and Goliath if it would make a difference. But it won’t. I can roar all I want about the unfairness of this ridiculous disease, but the facts remain. What I can do is protect my son daughter from as much pain as possible, and then finally do the hardest thing of all, a thing most parents will thankfully never have to do: I will love him her to the end of his her life, and then I will let him her go.”
Happy 5th Birthday, Amy Lynne. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you and wish you were with us making our house even more loud than it already is.