Let the Guilt Poor In. No more. More. MORE. MOOOOOOOOOOORE. OK. That’s About Right.

It’s that time again. Quarter end. Which means I’m a quarter end widow. Benjamin works crazy hours. As in today? He took Lauren to jazz band at 6:30 am and now as I’m writing this, it’s 9:30 and he still hasn’t even left work yet.

I’ve been a bit stressed. Mostly in my personal life. For months now, Lily has been losing weight. She used to be a chunk. Now she’s a skinny toddler. Toddlers aren’t supposed to lose weight. As my pediatrician told me, they should plateau, but not lose weight. Lovely. She’s been showing signs of possibly having type I diabetes. Taking after her mother. Poor child. Anyway, so today I had to take her into Children’s for blood work. 7 vials of blood to be specific. All went well. I insisted that I take her to Children’s. Hello?! All day long, they take blood out of… well, CHILDREN. It went just as I had hoped. There was no digging, no bruising. She won’t have a terrible memory of her blood being drawn. Which is a huge thing to me. You name it, it’s happened to me. I have terrible veins.

After we bribe her with this, and it worked great! I went back to work. Did most everything and then I went home. I picked up Lauren from my dad’s house, and Lexi from our fabulous groomer. Tried to clean up the family room. Around 7:30 I’m so tired, I ask Lauren to watch Lily for about 15 minutes so I can go and lay down. Well, 15 minutes turn into 30, then 45 and then my mother calls me. I’m exhausted. Yes, I got up after my husband did and I was in bed before him, but I swear, he’s a machine.

Anyway, onto the guilt. (I’m also sure she will think that I have exaggerated, but what’s new?) So she asks me what’s going on and that I sound tired. I told her I was in bed and that I was exhausted. She asked me where the children were and I told her that Lauren had gone to bed (by this time, I’d been in bed for almost an hour) and that Lily had trooped off and was probably down stairs getting into something she shouldn’t be getting into (which I was right) and she asked me about Benjamin. So I told her he was still at work. So she said:

Oh, poor Benjamin. Working all day long and then have to come home and tend to Lily.

Ok, please let me translate:

What?? she says, you won’t stay up with Lily? Benjamin works allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day long and then has to come home and put Lily to bed? What kind of mother are you anyway? Who cares if I did the same thing and I didn’t even work when you kids were little??

Ok, so maybe I did exaggerate just a tinsy winsy. But you get the idea. Guilt has been heaped. Lily has been drugged so she’ll go to sleep earlier (with Benadryl people. Yes, she does have allergies. The lovely side effect is sleepiness) So Benjamin won’t have to come home and fight Lily to go to sleep.

Ok, now that I’ve probably alienated my mother and she’ll call me and demand that I either take this post down or be able to tell her side of the ridiculous argument. I gotta tell you, she still after months she gets all heated up over it. Shhhhh, don’t tell her, but I secretly love that I can get her riled with 3 words. Moroni, golden plates. hehehe.

Now, I can go to bed guilt free.

Stayed up later than anticipated. Check

Drugged Lily. Check.

Blogged about our ridiculous argument. Check.

Pissed my mother off. Check.

Night all!

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2 comments on “Let the Guilt Poor In. No more. More. MORE. MOOOOOOOOOOORE. OK. That’s About Right.

  1. Seems like stress is the order of the day for most people right now! Please let me know when you hear about Lily! And just for the record, I loooove your mom. :)

  2. Michelle says:

    Hang in there Sara! Don't beat yourself up, we all have days that are more tiring than others!

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