Ellwood and Nasty TSA Agents

Once a year, there is a short three day seminar dealing with CEO’s of management companies. Last year was in California and this year it’s in Chicago.

So mom wants to go a couple of days early to do some sight seeing. we’ve never done this before. So we she decides that she wants to do a red eye. Never done a red eye. I am thinking this might be a great idea. Our flight is supposed to leave at 11:45 at night. we’re supposed to fly in around 5am or so. We get to the airport around 10. We check in and then we get in line to go through security. As we’re getting into our lines, there is a couple traveling with baby twins. Like they’re around 5 or 6 months old. This lady is yelling at everyone especially the parents who looked to be in their late 20’s or so. She told them that they had to collapse their stroller and it had to pass through the metal detector or it wouldn’t be able to go through. We’ll, they collapsed it and it wasn’t able to go through. She had another agent come and get the stroller and she told the other agent to take their time and to go slowly. I think to myself, wow, I’m so grateful that I’m not in her line.

I jinxed myself. I guess we were in her line. My mother looked at me and said “Whatever you do, don’t talk to her and just mind your business” So I walk through and nothing happens. Well, I have to let them know that I am wearing an insulin pump. After I  went through I mentioned that I’m surprised that my insulin pump didn’t make it go off. She looks at me, her eyes bug out and she demands that I go into the glassed in container and that I have been selected to be searched.

So I guess not only do I get patted down, but all of my belongings get searched too. My shoes, my brand new Nike shoes?? They ripped out the padding in my shoe  to make sure I didn’t have any explosives in them. I then had to put my hand on my insulin pump and then they swiped my hands and put that into a machine. I was told that if I had any harmful chemicals or explosives, they would detect it. Seriously? SERIOULSY?? I have babies that I want to come home to. I don‘t want to blow ANYTHING up.

I understand that it is their job to keep us safe. However, they don’t need to be rude jerks. And if you don’t know me, I name people. This lady was named Attila the Hun. She was a witch on wheels. With a capital B.

So we get through security and we find out there is a huge storm in Chicago area and that the plane coming to get us is 3 hours late since it originated in Chicago. So our lovely red eye midnight leaving? turned into a lovely 2:30 am leaving.Oh man, are you serious? I look at mom and tell her to never book a red eye again.

We get on the plane and we’re behind a family with 4 little kids. The youngest is around 12 months old. I’m not too worried, it’s not my kid, I should be able to sleep through it if she cries. We get up into the air and I cannot sleep to save my life. Then I get this pounding headache and my legs hurt too. I finally get around to sleeping about an hour into the flight. Only to be woken up by the poor poor baby in front of us. She’s tired and probably hungry. And she is crying and screaming like there is no tomorrow. The mother keeps putting a blanket over her mouth as she cries out and then lets up so she can take a breath.  I didn’t agree with that. I was just glad that it wasn’t my baby.

We arrive and get our luggage and work our way to the rental place. We get the keys and we look at the map and we realize that Nauvoo is only 2.5 hours away. *SWEET* We decided to go to Nauvoo. Well, two hours into the drive and we realize that it’s not two and a half hours away, it’s about four and a half hours away. It’s 250 miles away from Chicago. We thought we would make it into an adventure and go anyway.

My friend Charity *HI CHARITY* told us that we needed to get pictures of us in front of some of her favorite places in Chicago since this is where she grew up. I told her that I didn’t like my picture taken and then I decided with my mother that we would take pictures of our fingers in places. THEN, on the side of the road, with his thumb up HITCH HIKING was Ellwood. We had to take pity on him. We then learned that we’re related. I mean really… what are the odds??


Everyone, may I introduce





Ellwood P. Green.

Ellewood day 1 002

He’s a cousin of mine. He also volunteered to be in all of the pictures of places we’ve been to. Oh boy, has it been an adventure so far!! We stopped at an antique store. Ellwood was being sarcastic and I told him that if he wasn’t careful, I’d put him through the ringer.

Ellewood day 1 011

This is an antique washer. He was mostly good and didn’t dare say a word to me at lunchtime. Even if mom and I made fun of the name.

Ellewood day 1 003

Yes, it’s pronounced like saying “gassy”

We then stop at a yard sale almost into Nauvoo. We found a trusty steed but alas… we couldn’t afford him for Ellwood.

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He did want to get pictures with as many different license plates as he could. to prove to the rest of his family that he was safe and was having the time of his life.

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We then finally make it into Nauvoo, tired and hungry. We find that they happen to have vacancy in their hotel. WooHoo! If it had been one week later, we would have run into this and not been able to find anywhere to sleep. We are staying at the Zion’s Mercantile

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After that, we went and got something to eat. We went to the Nauvoo Hotel. Ellwood being the ladies man, sat with some hussies instead of us.

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After that, we were tuckered out and came back to go to bed early. Ellwood hogged up the space.

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I quickly told him that there was only one bed and two females. He was gallant enough to sleep in my bag. I have to tell you though, we had a great day on Saturday trying to get to Nauvoo. I even slept for 13 hours straight I was so tired. It felt awesome.

Stay tuned for day two adventures with Ellwood, Sherrie & Sara.

Question of the day: What is your favorite vacation you’ve ever had and why?


4 comments on “Ellwood and Nasty TSA Agents

  1. cg-c says:

    HI SARA!!! LOVE Ellwood!!! Have a fantastic time!!!

  2. I LOVE Nauvoo! And Chicago! We did that road trip when we lived in NM and that ranks right up there on my fave's! Have so much fun! And take a dang picture of yourself with Ellwood, for the love!

  3. Anonymous says:

    hi mom! where did you find ellewood? by the way i'm lauren stephenson

  4. Sara says:

    Lauren, we found Ellwood at a Garage Sale on our way to Nauvoo. I love Nauvoo, we're going to come again with you kiddos. Love you and see you on Saturday!

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