Don’t YOU know who Abby is??

“All I was trying to do was feed my baby. She came in unannounced and then told me how I should do it. I can’t stand her.” Another woman chimed in, “I was trying to bond with my boys and she barged into my room. I totally get what you’re saying about Abby. She just doesn’t care.”

I’m thinking… I’ve been here for weeks and I’ve never met Abby… I’ve run into some nurses that I would like to strangle, but never one named Abby. Phew! The last thing I need is a nosy, pushy nurse.

Less than a week later…


Me: Hello?

Neonatologist: Sara? It’s Dr. B. I really think you need to get to the hospital as soon as you can. Amy Lynne’s heart stopped and we had to do chest compressions. We did resuscitate her, but I just don’t know if she is going to live through the day.

Me: *GULP* I’ll be there in 30 minutes Dr. B.

We grabbed the children, called my parent’s and my brother’s family. We needed to get to the hospital. My biggest fear was that my daughter would die with no one to hold her. No family around her. I was flying on the freeway. Easily going 90 mph. Angels had to have been watching over me that day. No cops at the usual hiding places and cars just moved out of my way.

We rush into her room, we quickly wash our hands and there she is, lying on her hospital bed, intubated and her clothes are open! That totally OUTRAGED me. She has such a hard time keeping her body temp up, and they don’t have a blanket on her and WORSE, her clothes are open so they can watch her chest. So I went over there and I closed her clothes and we put a blanket on her. She received a blessing from her dad and grandpa. The girls’ kissed her- possibly goodbye for the last time, and then my dad took them home.

At that point, Dr B came in and started explaining what had happened. Jeri comes in and we all sit down on the “couch/bed” with my mother and Benjamin in between me. While he was explaining what had happened, her heart starts to drop. Normally, preemies and newborn’s heart beats around 140 beats per minute. Amy Lynne’s had always beat around 110 per minute. So it drops down to 90, then 80… and Dr B gets up and they quickly get her back into her giraffe… she has gotten too cold. DAMN that nurse. I have never liked her. She was in the NICU when Lauren & Kathryn were born. She knew she was on my list too. So Dr B starts working on her and some nurses start coming in to help. I’m just sitting there thinking, not like this. She can’t die like this.

In comes this woman in dark blue scrubs. She all but shoves her way in over the nurses and starts barking out orders to Dr B. Since he is listening to her and doing what she says, she must be a Dr. too. I felt so calm with her in the room. She was confident, she was soothing, and I immediately knew that she was going to save my daughter.

They worked on her for over 2 hours. Dr B. kept calling for more epi and steroids. She and Dr B kept looking at the monitors, all but willing her heart to beat faster. thankfully, they didn’t do chest compressions on her. I know that if she would have needed it, they would have done it. I also know that they knew we were watching and wanted to keep us calm as well. We had tons of nurses keep coming in to ask us if we were OK, if we needed any food, anything to drink. Pillow? Warm blankets? I have to tell you, that threw me off a little. What were they all doing in here? Later, I learned that right before Dr B had called me, that Amy Lynne had a code blue called on her. She is the only infant in the NICU to ever have a code called on her. It not only freaked out the ENTIRE hospital, but everyone was on pins and needles in the NICU.

Dr. B and my savior in dark blue saved Amy Lynne that day. She shooed everyone out of the room except us and Dr. B. She said that Amy Lynne needed peace and quiet. I was in awe of this nosy, pushy woman. I went up and asked what her name was.

Why of course, it was Abby.

Abby made it so my daughter didn’t pass away on a table while they were working on her. She willed my daughter to live so she could die peacefully with her loved ones surrounding her. So I could hold her.