So true!

So I was blog stalking again… I do it all the time. This blog is the brother of a woman with whom I served with in the primary presidency years ago… Also, to prove how small the church is… her sister married my sister in law’s cousin. Now say that fast 5 times.

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Utah driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of being hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it, and it will result in you being rear-ended.
5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving you a relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch your legs.
6. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It’s a good way to scare people entering the highway.
7. Speed limits are arbitrary, given only as a suggestion and are apparently unenforceable in Utah during rush hour.
8. Just because you’re in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn’t mean that a Utah driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn’t think he can go faster in your spot.
9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.

10. Learn to swerve abruptly. Utah is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes.
11. It is traditional in Utah to honk your horn at cars that don’t move the instant the light turns green.
12. Remember that the goal of every Utah driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
13. If a driver stupidly signals to get into your lane, accelerate as fast as possible so that they can move in behind you. They either don’t know what they’re doing or are from out of state. Remember, using your blinkers confuses Utah drivers.
14. If you haven’t maneuvered into the correct lane to exit, because you are on an important cell phone call, feel free to swerve across 3 lanes without signaling. You wouldn’t want to waste the extra fuel by waiting for the next one. Besides, that’s why they widened the highway.
15. Slam on your brakes whenever you see a police officer. It’s a good way to warn other drivers that they should all fall in line behind the officer to form a traffic bottleneck. Once he has safely exited, resume speeding.

Oh how I’ve laughed over this. We just did a family reunion in Utah in July. We were meeting all the family at a restaurant that was about 15 minutes away from where we were staying. So we all caravanned together… Three cars and my dad was in the car behind me. So what did I do when I got on the freeway? Well, I went on going about 75 miles an hour and didn’t use my blinker. My father was so upset with me when we got there… To which I replied… “When in Rome Dad!”


A Little Bit Of Dinner Conversation…

Kathryn: Mommy, what was the best part of your day?

Mommy: Coming home from work!

Kathryn: Daddy, what was the best part of your day?

Daddy: You going to school!

Kathryn: *quite indignant* What? You just insulted me! Mom, didn’t daddy just insult me?

Mommy: I thought so….

Daddy: Whateverrrrrr™

Lauren: I don’t know what to do! Have you drive me into school or take the bus….

Mommy: Kid, make up your melon. If you leave at 7:20, you’ll get to school faster if we drive you. Who knows when you’ll get there if you take the bus?

Lauren: But I want to leave the soonest possible! I just don’t know what to do. Leaving for the bus 6:50… or you taking me at 7:20. I don’t know what to doooooo!

Daddy: Lauren. We don’t even know who your bus driver is this year.

Kathryn: Robbie!

Daddy: Ok, Robbie is your bus driver. You leave at 6:50 and maybe just maybe she’ll arrive at 7:10. Or she may pick you up around 7:30. You’ll then arrive at school anywhere between 7:45 & ah….

Mommy: 8:15!

Daddy: Yeah, 8:15. However, if you let me take you to school, we’ll leave at 7:20 and arrive there between 7:25-7:30ish.

Lauren: Ok, but what if-

Kathryn: I have some seriously butt ugly people in my classroom.

Mommy, Daddy & Lauren: *blank stares at Kathryn* then we burst into laughter.

Mommy: Oh, that’s going on the blog. Someone watch Lily while I go and blog about it.

My Life According to Britney Spears

Okay, I know what you thinking, and Earl has already disowned me for having her on my iTunes at work… but I like her music. 

I was tagged by Jeri.

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 12 people you like and include me. You can’t use the band/artist I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It’s a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My Life According to (BAND NAME)"

Pick your artist: Britney Spears.

Are you a male or female? Girl In The Mirror

Describe yourself. Outrageous.

How do you feel? You Drive Me Crazy

Describe where you currently live. Circus

If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Heaven on Earth

Your favorite form of transportation is? Radar

Your best friend is? Lucky

Your favorite color is? Shadow

What’s the weather like? Hot as Ice

Your favorite time of day is? Early Mornin’

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called? You Got It All

What is life to you? Curious

Your relationship? The Beat Goes On

Your fear is? Lonely

What is the best advice you have to give? Don’t Go Knocking on my Door

If you could change your name, you would change it to: Brave New Girl

Thought for the day: Let me Be

How would you like to die? Stronger

Your soul’s present condition is? Over Protected

Your motto is? Oops, I Did it Again.

I tag: ( and you can post this on facebook if you wish…) Michelle Adams, Becky, Chrissy, Kylie, Michelle Ray, Hilary, Carlen and anyone who wants to. Just let me know if you did it!