Can 3 years really feel like 30?

So three years ago today, Benjamin and I were sealed in the Seattle Temple.


Yes, this is the picture on my header.

He had no clue what he was getting himself into…



Oh, who are we kidding… he did too!

In three long long looooooong years, we have: (In order)

Well, we moved the week before we got married.


Then:Picture 008 Baptized Lauren December of 2005


Picture 068 Kathryn received "Top Dog" award at school. December of 2005. Like the face? Like mother, like daughter.


Picture 232Went and saw Great Grandma Parker for Easter. She passed away later that year. So glad we went. March of 2006


Picture 163Kathryn received "Top Dog" award. Again. March of 2006.


Found out that I was preggo with Amy Lynne in April.


Picture 128Bought Lightning In February? Michelle, do you remember when we got it? (I may be totally off on my dates of this one)


Picture 239Bought Blue Tooth in May


Picture 310

Got dragged to a car show in September. Hugely preggo. Lauren and I were bored out of our minds. Kathryn and Benjamin? Had such a blast.

Picture 352Had Amy Lynne October 21, 2006

Amy Lynne received a name and a blessing in December of 2006. It was very important to me that her name be on the records of the church. She was in her isolette and her dad gave her the blessing and her Grandpa Moore and Uncle Matthew assisted.

Picture 423Buried Amy Lynne. She passed away on January 4, 2007.


Lauren and Kathryn and Karl all received "Top Dog" award. In case you weren’t counting, this is Kathryn’s 3rd award. First for both Lauren and Karl. (I don’t have those pictures, I’ll have to get them off of my mother’s camera)


Picture 136

Lightning died and we gave her away. February of 2007 or was it 2006? Man, this time with this car is fuzzy.


Picture 473 Baptized Kathryn March 2007.


PICT0053 Got Lexi in April 2007. Totally the best. She really helped our family in the grieving process.


Moved in July of 2007


Sometime in the summer of 2007, we acquired another car. 1990 M30. We fondly call her "Crush"


PICT0120PICT0145 (Benjamin being a nerd with his Mazda 6)

PICT0137 Went to Idaho to Silverwood and to visit Grandma Vermillion and Great Grandpa Parker. Again, very glad as Grandpa Parker passed away about 6 months later.



Found out in December that we were expecting Lily. I really thought I was going to miscarry her. I had no morning sickness whatsoever and after vomiting and migraine headaches throughout my pregnancy with Amy Lynne, I was expecting at least something.


March of 2008, I was hospitalized for a kidney infection and kidney stones. I thought I was going to die. I mean really.


May of 2008, was hospitalized for another abruption. I was losing blood. They couldn’t find places for IV’s. After many attempts, (like 15) over a week period, they decided to put a PICC line in me. I lost enough blood that I had to have TWO blood transfusions. (the day after I delivered)


DSC_0039 Had Lily. 11 weeks early. June 14, 2008. She was in the hospital for 6 weeks.

DSC_0045Her name is Lily Rose. Get it? Lily and roses in the bouquet? haha I crack myself up. 


We moved again in August of 2008. (hopefully this will be our last)


Got rid of my *sniff* *sniff* van. I loved her. She just couldn’t go on any longer.


DSC_0111Blessed Lily in September 2008.

And here we are, October 2008. Now can you see why it feels like forever? Oh, and it isn’t a bad thing that I feel like we’ve been married forever. We’ve just been through a lot. We both feel as though we’ve known each other forever.


Oh, and on a side note, I took Lily to the Dr today. She weighs in at 12lbs 11oz and is in the 25% for height and 25% for weight and 5% on her head. Now those are the percentages for her as though she was born at full term. Now on her preemie chart, she is in the 90% for both her height and weight and 40% for her head. She got 3 shots and 5 immunizations. She’s not a happy camper right now. She’s spending the evening on her daddy’s chest in the Baby Bjorn.


Looking back through the years….

So I needed to bump Amy Lynne down one. Not that I don’t love her more than life, but it can get pretty depressing to see my baby up there. I have Karl and Erik over and Erik saw a picture of Amy Lynne up on the fridge. Erik walked over and looked at her picture and said, “I miss Amy.” He then proceeded to kiss the picture and went back to playing with our moon sand.

So to the new post. I inherited my mother’s old computer. So I have a bunch of pictures on here that I haven’t had. It makes me realize that I need to take my pictures and scan those puppies in so we have them digital as well.
I found a couple of pictures of me as a baby so I thought I would show you what a dork I was…

I had my sunglasses on upside down. Matthew had them on correctly and he didn’t fix them. Typical.

Here his about to run me down. If my parent’s weren’t outside, I would be on the ground flat. Like a pancake. You can see a pattern can’t you?

This one… I remember it very well actually. My mother took me in to get my pictures. I remember the photographer placing me there and then going back and looking into her camera. She then would come over and move my hand ever so slightly and then run back and look into the camera. She did this for about 5-10 minutes. However, to me, being about 5 thought it would never end. I think that’s why I remember it so well.

This picture hung on the wall of that photographer for about 10 years. My mother got a phone call and she asked my mother if she wanted to buy it back for $20. My mother said yes. I have another picture of when I was younger that also hung on the walls of the photographer studio and then I won a baby contest at a state fair when I was two. I don’t usually tell this story, but Kathryn found out about this and was so upset I hadn’t told her! It’s embarrassing sometimes. I was such a pretty child!
What happened?

Happy Birthday, Amy Lynne

Today is my baby’s birthday. She would have been two. I remember when I found out I was expecting. I was so excited but nervous too. Was I too old to have kids? How would my body react? Wow, we weren’t even trying! I remember being so sick in my first trimester. One of the women who worked in the office across the street stopped me one day and looked me in the eye and said, "Are we a little green today?" It was a huge effort to even eat for fear that it would come right up. From past experiences, I knew that my sickness wouldn’t go away after 12 weeks. I had sickness throughout the whole pregnancy. I remember when I was about 15-16 weeks pregnant finding out we were having another girl. I was so excited! Benjamin got used to it. Also, around this time, I started in with some serious headaches. My arms and legs tingled and lost sensation as well as my neck. So off to a neurologist I went. I thought I had MS. My doctor, thought I had a brain tumor. I had to *gulp* have a MRI. I was around 23-24 weeks along at this point. Needless to say, I didn’t have a great time and in fact, turns out I don’t do well on ativan. So I didn’t have a brain tumor, and I didn’t have MS. I had pseudotumor cerebri. ( I would later find out that Amy’s stroke caused this because she couldn’t swallow so I had huge amounts of amniotic fluid in my body)

I vomited and had migraines throughout my pregnancy. I was huge. No, really I was. After you get to about 20 weeks, they start measuring your uterus. Well, you’re supposed to be 1 cm for every week that you are preggo. At 30 weeks, I was measuring 44cm. I should have only measured 30cm. Also, around 30 weeks, I started in with this horrible pain. It was so severe, that my vision would come in and out. They thought it was my gall bladder. It was in fact, (we later found out) an abruption.

It was all they could do to keep her in me. They put me on magnesium and they gave me beta methazone shots to help mature her lungs. At around 4pm, I started hemorrhaging. I was whisked into the OR. Amy Lynne came into the world and never made a peep.  I remember hearing nothing and the weird way we were set up, Amy Lynne was basically at the foot of my table. I remember not hearing anything and the look of horror on my mother’s face. I kept asking about her and I was told nothing. I would later find out that her apgar score was 1 and that they were doing chest compressions on her. They intubated her and when she was finally pink, they turned the curtain down so I could look at her. She had a tube down her throat and they were bagging her. Off to the NICU they went. My mother went with her. Benjamin stayed with me, they finished sewing me up and I went back up to the 4th floor. We knew something was seriously wrong with her and within two hours of her birth, we had two brethren from our ward at the hospital to administer to her.

I remember feeling so helpless, not being able to be with her, not being able to see her, to touch her. Hours after, in the wee morning, I finally got to see her. And this is what I saw:

Amy 2

She had the darkest red hair. It was so curly. She was so easily calmed. She loved listening to church music. She was truly an angel. We would later find out after countless IV’s, blood transfusions, platelet transfusions, two lumbar punctures (spinal tap), hours of sitting in her hospital room just talking to her, letting her know that I was there, holding her, touching her, kissing her… that she had suffered a massive stroke in utero. It had taken out 90% of her brain and left the frontal lobe and the cerebellum in tact. She fought so hard to stay, stay just long enough for us to know why. 10 weeks 5 days to be exact.

amy lynne

I should have had a birthday party today. She should be into everything. My house should be baby-proofed. She would be smiling at me and giving me and her dad and sisters lots of kisses and hugs. She should be a holy terror at the office. She and Kjell should be getting into the toilet at work. Instead, for some reason, Heavenly Father needed her more than I did. There is something so important up there that couldn’t wait. Not even for a couple of years here on earth.




I miss my baby girl. I would do anything to get her back.

Sometimes, blog stalking isn’t so bad

So I was stalking Michelle yet again for like the oh, 17th or 18th time today and came upon a new post from her. Apparently, she was stalking me and saw a post from Carlen about a tag. I was confused as to how she figured this out from me, so I went hunting myself. Well, I first read her tag and then I went hunting and I found out something… I was tagged! By Carlen and not Michelle. At first, my feelers were hurt because Michelle hadn’t tagged me but then I saw that Carlen had tagged me and all was well in the universe.

I’m so excited… my first tag. Pathetic, I know. However, without further ado, ( I need to insert here that even though I stalk Michelle’s blog, I didn’t know that she had put without further ado too, so since I wasn’t intentionally coping Michelle, I’m going to keep it) here is my stuff:


Seven things I want to do before I die:

1. Do sessions in every temple in the USA.

2. Go to Spain. For the Siestas of course.

3. Fall in love with Genealogy .

4. Learn about all the stupid places in a computer that my husband can hide the pictures.

5. Learn how to knit.

6. Go to New England in the fall

7. Take my children to Disney World



Seven things I can do:

1. Annoy my mother. (see answer 2 on things I can’t do)

2. Annoy my husband. (see above)

3. Drive. Very well.

4. Delegate (or should I say boss people around?)

5. Primary President (see number 4 above)

6. Get through anything. Even when I think I can’t take anymore.

7. Love my children.



Seven things I can’t do:

1. Algebra.

2. Sing. Much to the chagrin of my family. Especially my husband and mother.

3. Keep the laundry folded and put away.

4. Keep dishes done.

5. Gestate to full term.

6. Go to sleep and stay asleep. I’m afraid I’ll miss out on something. Even at 3am.

7. Stop biting my fingernails. I’ve tried. Multiple times. I’m hopeless.



Seven things that attract me to Benjamin

1. His intelligence.

2. He doesn’t know how to say "no" to anyone. (I’m helping him to say no occasionally now)

3. How he loves our children.

4. How our children love him.

5. His humor. (or should I say lack thereof?)

6. He’s always trying to do better.

7. How easily he blushes.



Seven things that I say most often:

1. Oh man!

2. Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm (you’d have to hear me say it)

3. Go back to sleep!

4. It’s your turn to feed the baby right?!?

5. Rock, Paper, Scissors. (as to who gets to get up with Lily)

6. Honey Girl (What I call my girls)

7. Honey? You know how much I love you? You’re the bestest husband in the whole wide world… (followed by of course him saying, "What do you want?")



Seven celebrities that I like love:

1. Lauren

2. Kathryn

3. Amy Lynne

4. Lily

5. Benjamin

6. Sherrie

7. Jeri



Seven Favorite foods:

1. Ravioli and Alfredo sauce. (from costco)

2. Spaghetti.

3. Avocados.

4. Pineapple.

5. Ranch. (does that count?)

6. My mother’s Parker House Rolls. yum!

7. Victoria cut filet (medium) with steamed broccoli and caesar salad from outback!



Seven people that I tag…

1. Jeri

2. Julie

3. Cobalt

4. Well.. my mother. You can leave it in my comments.

5. My uncle. You can leave it in my comments too.

6. I just don’t know enough people that haven’t already done this.

7. Anyone who visits my blog. You can always leave it in my comment section. I have it so you can leave it anonymous if you wish.

The first 4 months

Well, Lily was 4 months old yesterday. I can’t be as good as Michelle and actually get it on the correct day. It has been a very interesting 4 months. Lily spent the first 6 weeks in the hospital. She was born at 29 weeks. If you look at her head, you can see a circle on it. Yup, she didn’t want to come out, they had to vacuum my 3lb 1oz baby out. Did I mention that I had a c-section?

She cried upon coming out which made me soooo happy, and about 9 hours after birth they had to put a ventilator in her to help mature her lungs. I don’t have pictures of this and I’m very grateful for that. She dropped down to 2lbs 8oz and was then placed on C-PAP and was on that for about 3 days. By the way, her diapers were about 1.5 inches wide by 2.5 inches long. Very small.


She then went onto nasal cannulas.

Picture 013

After that, she was on room air! Only 10 days after birth, and except for feeding, she was ready to come home at 31 weeks. Truly, our miracle child.

Picture 040

Here she is at one month. In a preemie outfit that is way too huge on her.


Here she is in her car seat getting ready to come home. Actually, this is her car seat test, she came home a couple of days later. She isn’t even 5 pounds yet.


This is the morning we got to go home. As you can see, she is tired of me taking her pictures. If I was titling these, this one would be, "Please, no more pictures!"

Picture 107

Then on September 7th, she was blessed. Here is a picture of my family.

Family picture lily blessing

And I love this one.


Here she is, being held by her daddy who gave her a name and a blessing and all the men who stood in the circle to help assist her daddy.


Here are a couple in between because of course, I don’t have any "2 month" or "3 month" pictures of her. That would be too easy!

DSC_0140 DSC_0166

But!! I do have her on her 4th month! and here it is…


Whoops, that’s not Lily! That’s Kjelly!

Here is Lily


Four months yesterday and growing like a weed. This is when she first came home.

Picture 124

This was taken a week ago.

Picture 172

I’m sleep deprived and my speech slurs when I talk, but I’m happy that she’s healthy and doing so well. If she would only sleep through the night! I would even be happy for 6 hours straight. Nope, she may look like her daddy, but attitude and sleep or should I say, lack thereof, is purely Moore!

Question of the day: When did your kids start sleeping through the night?

Pros & Cons of having your children 9 years apart

As I sit here at the computer, I’m downstairs and Lily is upstairs sleeping in her crib. What?!? you gasp, you’re downstairs and she is upstairs and you have no monitor? Ah ha! I do. Her name is Lauren and she is 11. Lily is finally down for a nap… the first real one today and it’s 3:30 in the afternoon. I go upstairs to my room where Lauren is watching T.V. and I lay Lily in her crib and say to Lauren, “Come and get me if she wakes up.” Wow, that felt so good.

I remember when Amy Lynne died, during that first year and I still do it sometimes, I try and come up with positive things, like… After she died and Lily wasn’t here yet, I came up with… Sleep! I slept at night and wasn’t woken up. Yeah, I think that’s the only thing I could come up with, but hey, at least it was something. It is nice however, to have the girls help out with Lily. Holding her, sometimes feeding her ( they don’t like to do it that much because of her feeding issues), but they are great big sisters. Huge age gap, by the time Lily is Kathryn’s age at 9, her sisters should be out of the house… going to school, missions, marriage. Dang… where did the time go?

Do you like how far apart your children are? Wish they were closer together or farther apart?

Pink Gorillas?

So I was a chaperon on a field trip yesterday. I got 5 girls to watch after, one of whom didn’t want to be in my group and kept disappearing on me to go and be with her friends. *sigh* We were in the blue group. Blue group consisted of a little bit of all three different classes in the 6th grade. In our blue group was a boy we’ll call “Davey”. Davey and I have a love/hate relationship. I had him on a field trip last year and I wanted to kill him afterwards. He wasn’t’ too fond of me either.

Well, he decided that he loved me (at least for yesterday) and I thought he was in a very good frame of mind. Davey talks and talks and well… talks. A lot. He never shuts up. Also, as sad as it sounds, give Davey a couple of more years and he’ll “be out of the closet”. So imagine in a drag queen kind of voice him talking allllll the time. Towards the end of the trip, about 5 1/2 hours into this boat ride (it was 6 hours) I say to him, “Davey, I have some duct tape in my purse and I’m not afraid to use it.” He looks at me and will all seriousness in his voice says “It wouldn’t be the first time. You see, I just talk and talk. I was at camp and while I was sleeping, all the kids in my tent thought it would be funny to duct tape my mouth. By the way, it tastes really yucky.” For a split second, I was horrified and then I thought to myself, he’s pulling my tail. So I say to him, “Look me in the eye and tell me that they duct taped your mouth.” He looked at me and then away and said “They duct taped my mouth.” I grabbed his face and told him to look me in the eye and tell me that again. He started laughing and said that no, they had not in fact duct taped his mouth shut. “But they wanted to really bad” he said. He started giggling and I started laughing.

So I bet you’re wondering what this has to do with pink gorillas? Well, after he told me that story, he said, ( I kid you not) “So I keep having this crazy dream. This pink gorilla keeps bashing me on the head with a toy train.” I about fell off of my chair. I have this blank look on my face and he looks at me and says “it’s true! I’m not lying about it! He keeps bashing me in the head because I won’t shut up. I just talk and talk, even in my dreams.” I sort of snicker and think to myself.. well, that’s going on the blog. Now, reading this, you may not find it half as funny as I did, but I had to share anyway.

On a different note, there were a ton of fun things that the kids got to touch. Of course, I didn’t bring a camera… why would I think to do that? Lauren held this huge monster of a sea star? I think it was a sea star. If it wasn’t a sea star, it would have been a sun star. Anyway, it was huge, got her all wet and she loved it. Karl grabbed crabs, sea cucumbers, and clams. I was so tired after the boat trip and then we had an hour and a half to do something while we waited for the buses to come and get us. So I took all of my girls to eat at Red Robin. Yummy, just what we all needed!

What is one of your favorite times spent with your child(ren) or someone you love?